


Still

by shoshoryuu



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Best Friends, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-06-12 00:54:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15328161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shoshoryuu/pseuds/shoshoryuu
Summary: Since we can't turn around each other, I'll continue to stay here.





	1. Aim!

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time writing for the EXO fandom since I just started stanning EXO from the KoKoBop era. Based on DAY6’s song 원하니까 (Still). Summary used is from the same song. Unbeta-ed.

Baekhyun wasn’t really surprised when he realized that he really liked Chanyeol. It wasn’t a _eureka!_ moment; he felt like he has been liking him all this time along. Even though he’s been questioning himself why he felt so tingly when Chanyeol looks at him with warm eyes and smiles at him as if Baekhyun hung the stars on his window, he never thought of the fact that he might be seeing Chanyeol in a different light.  
  


Then The Night Where Everything Made Sense* happened.  
  


(*In which the eleven boys decided on drinking until everyone is knocked out on Junmyeon’s spacious flat so they can drink more and be safe on Junmyeon’s hands.)  
  


Chanyeol was drunk (read: too drunk) enough that he started preaching about boys who breaks hearts for fun are just like murderers in the night and should be jailed for killing someone inside. Baekhyun, the ever reliable best friend, stayed by his side, trying (failing) to make him stop rambling about the possibility of heartbreakers being emotional serial killers. It is a funny sight to their friends--it wasn’t normal to see Chanyeol drunk and Baekhyun sober. When Chanyeol started to look like he was going to throw up, Baekhyun helped him up and guided him to the comfort room where he can vomit in peace. With Chanyeol’s head on the porcelain throne, Baekhyun started rubbing circles on Chanyeol’s broad back. After a few wheezes or so, he stood up (with Baekhyun’s help and his hand still rubbing circles on Chanyeol’s back), flushed the toilet, and started moving towards the sink and gargled some mouthwash Minseok left on the counter.

   
“Baekhyunnie.” Chanyeol murmured, his eyes closed and hands gripping the sink for stability.

   
“Yeol? Do you want to sleep?” Baekhyun moved closer to Chanyeol, and gently placing his arm on Chanyeol’s torso. “I’m okay, I’m okay. Let’s get out of here.”

   
“Okay guys, Chanyeol’s out. I’ll just put this big stringbean to bed and I’ll be back.” Baekhyun announced to the boys who are on their 2nd bottle of vodka.

   
“Just go to sleep too, Baekhyun! He’ll just follow you around like a lost puppy if you don’t.” Sehun exclaims, as if he isn’t like that when Luhan’s running around Junmyeon’s flat.

   
Baekhyun smiles, and slowly walks Chanyeol to the bed. “Yeol, go to sleep, okay? I’ll just get some gatorade for you to drink.” Chanyeol suddenly stops him from going, and hugged Baekhyun a second too late.

   
“Thank you, Baek. So much.” And Chanyeol started walking on his own towards the bed.

   
The night went on, Baekhyun came back to the drinking area and started thinking about what Chanyeol did. He hugged him a second too late to be considered friendly. And why did he have to bury his nose on his neck? They were friends, not lovers! A few minutes and vodka shots passed, and he realized, _yeah, maybe, I do like him that way._

   
After The Night, he kept it in, and never acted upon it. Silently wishing for something more, but never expecting for it to happen.

 

A few weeks later, Chanyeol drops _I like someone_ on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some snippets from my past (feelings) for my former best friend are in here, so this really hits home for me. I don't know, I can't read chanbaek angst but I'm kind of okay with writing it? Haha. Anyway, if you're reading this, thank you for staying and reading the first chapter of my story. Constructive criticisms, love comments and anything under the sun is appreciated!


	2. Lock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My writing is, sadly, still rusty. This chapter is set a few months after Chanyeol and his boyfriend spent time with the gang. And, the boyfriend is unnamed. :) It's up to you on who's the boyfriend. ;)

_Chanyeol,_

 

_If you’re reading this, please, read this with an open heart._  
  
_You must be wondering why I am trying to avoid you. I couldn’t say it to your face, because I’m a coward. So, here it goes_  
  
_Do you remember the day when you introduced me to him? I was being a dick back then, and I sincerely apologize. It wasn’t my intention to be hostile to him, I was just being irrational because I thought was going to be replaced in your life. I was being jealous over nothing, and I am really sorry. Please, if it is okay, tell him that I really didn’t mean to act like a brat._  
  
_I’m avoiding you because I don’t want you to spend your extra time on me anymore. He’s yours already, and he doesn’t deserve the leftover hours that you have whenever we meet. He deserves to have your time, and I think that if I don’t start distancing myself, there might be complications between you two._  
  
_And I’m avoiding you because you deserve to be happy with him._  
  
_The day you told me that you like someone, I saw how your eyes sparkled with joy and you glowed. You glowed, Yeol. Of all the times that I saw you talk about the people that you liked, you weren’t like that. You were so happy, and when I saw you talk about him… it hurt._

_You were never like that with me._

_When we all hung out together, I saw how he was so gentle with you. He treats you like a king, and he looks at you like you gave him the moon and hung it on his window. When you speak, it’s like you’re the only one he can hear, and no one else in the room is around. And you… You’re just the same as him. I couldn’t accept that I can’t make you happy the way he makes you happy. So, I’m getting out of the picture._  
  
_I wanted to hate him, do you know that? I kept on looking for flaws on him because I wanted to rat him out and make you leave him, but I couldn’t find a thing. He’s perfect, Yeol. Perfect for you._

_I take back what I said. Maybe I was really jealous over a little thing. I like you, Yeol. But I couldn’t say it then, because on the day that I finally chose to be brave, was the day the universe told me that I was too late._

_I’m sorry if you had to learn about this through this shitty letter. I’m too much of a coward, and if I don’t say this, I might just wouldn’t let you go. I like you, Yeol. I think it started after you puked during our drinking session at Junmyeons’. I took care of you that night, helped you get to bed, and slept beside you after drinking. The morning after, I woke up to you sleeping soundly and suddenly thought that it’s actually very nice to wake up to you in the morning. My mind started creating images of us together, me taking care of you, making you feel safe with my hugs, going home to your smile._

_But I guess what I have right now isn’t enough for more._

_Please don’t worry about me. I’m trying to be okay, and I know I will be. I just need some time off without you and you need to take a shot of happiness. You deserve the world, and if it means I have to let you go, I would._

_If you’re happy, I am too._

 

_\- Baekhyun_


	3. Fire!

 

“It’s been a while.”  
  
Chanyeol looks up to see Baekhyun standing beside the coffee table, smiling warmly at him. Warmth spreads over his chest as he takes in Baekhyun’s presence in the bustling coffee shop. He missed him so bad, even if it was only almost three months of not being able to talk to Baekhyun. _I just need some time off without you,_ he remembers. “I got you that strawberry cream drink that you liked. Please, sit.” Chanyeol pushes the drink towards the unoccupied seat.  
  
Baekhyun accepts, gingerly taking a seat and shyly reaching out for the sweet drink. “Thank you, Yeol.”

Companionable silence followed, with Baekhyun sipping on his drink while looking around the cafe. _This isn’t supposed to be hard, just be honest!_ A small, annoying voice kept on bugging Chanyeol, and for once, he thinks, that he should listen to it.  
  
“I missed you. You know that, right?” Chanyeol whispers, not looking in Baekhyun’s direction. Baekhyun smiles as he plays with his drink. “I honestly don’t, Yeol. My feelings… They’re still here, but it’s…  more tame? I don’t love you that way anymore. I’m kinda happy about it. I’m… finally free.” He looks at Chanyeol, “But sometimes, I think about us, you know? That I really shouldn’t have jeopardized our friendship over my feelings for you. I should've been selfish--I should’ve not said a word about what I felt for you, because now… It’s like I don’t know you anymore. And I know. I know that it’s my fault, because I chose to leave. I chose to ruin us.” Baekhyun looks away. “When I left, I missed you terribly. Everything I saw, reminded me of you.”  
  
“I’m… I’m sorry. For hurting you. For not giving you back the love that you gave me.” Chanyeol starts to tear up. “I never meant to hurt you, Baek. You’re my best friend. You’re one of the people that I can trust my whole life with. I’m so sorry, for not seeing you, for not giving you the love that you deserve.” A lone tear falls.  
  
He stands up, and sits beside Chanyeol. “You don’t have to apologize, Yeol.” Baekhyun whispers. “I’m okay now.” Lithe fingers reach for Chanyeol’s hand, while the other wipes the tear track from his cheek. “We’re okay, right?” Chanyeol looks at Beakhyun, and he sees his Baekhyun again, smiling as if Chanyeol never broke his heart.  
  
“We are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter! This is kinda rushed, and I'm sorry! I haven't been writing since I kept on pushing my writing schedule because of work (and reading fics lol). I hope you enjoyed this fic, this really hits home for me. I'm kinda proud of myself for finishing this, but I'm kinda disappointed with how I wrote this chapter. :( Nonetheless, I finally finished this fic, and I hope you enjoyed this!
> 
> Please, leave some love down below (comments on how to improve my writing since it's reaaaaaally rusty af)! Thank you very much :)
> 
> much love,  
> shoshoryuu


End file.
